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Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick (but only marginally)
My passport was found! My Uncle Neil found it in a collage box in the East Den (ie, the apartment in Coquitlam — my house is the West Den, and mom’s house is the North/Main Den — we name the houses in a way that makes sense to the wolf-dog okay). How it ended up…
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Passports and Fear
My passport is missing. Actually, my passports are missing. I have two, both current: US and Canada. I only need one to travel (technically*) and I cannot find either of them. I keep them in a special silver case that protects them from electromagnetic rays and beaming up by aliens and other various nasties. Yes,…
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Upon the Leaving of the Boyfriend: it is sad times
(at the bus stop) Me: I don’t want you to go. It is sad times when you go. Him: You’ll be busy! Doing stuff. Won’t even notice I’m gone. Me: NO. I WILL DO NOTHING BUT WATCH FUTURAMA AND DRINK WHISKEY. Him: …instead of watching Futurama and drinking vodka? Me: Totally different. Whiskey is sad…
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Midnight Martini Making and Roast Fucking Up
My mom gave me a pork roast, on the premise that I could not fuck it up. I am determined to prove her wrong. Even if I have to set the kitchen on fire. I decide: it’s midnight, time to cook, time to do laundry, time to drink Martinis. I have never made a martini…
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Things Overheard at Cue-to-Cue/Tech Dress for Dog Sees God
(By overheard, I mean said by me.) “Play my vagina like the bongos.” “This cup came all over my tits.” “I just hit the riser and make the Africa face.” “Hand-jobs: also played like the bongos. I hope that image stays with you when you meet my boyfriend on Saturday.” “You brought cookies? I want…
