the archives

Category: dispatches from the loony bin

  • gaslit by my crazy pills (gifs in post)

    i went to the doc’s on friday to get a new scrip for my zoloft and my dexilant, because the bottles in my medicine drawer (top drawer of my sewing-desk-that’s-being-used-as-a-computer-desk) were running really low. no problem, got my scrips for 100 pills each. i have to go in every time to get the scrips, and…

  • The Summer I Went Crazy

    Serious content warning for this post. I talk about childhood abuse, trauma, suicide, and sexual assault. There’s a video making the rounds on social media. I haven’t watched it. I don’t want to watch it. But I’ve seen the comments and I know, basically, what it’s about: a child having a tantrum on a train.…

  • Father’s Day is tough for me

    I really wish it weren’t. I cut my biological sire out of my life when I turned 26. That’s 5 years this August and yet certain days haven’t gotten easier for me. His birthday. Today. Any day that reminds me: I have no mortal father. (Immortal? Well, that’s better read about at my religious blog.)…

  • The Fear of Long Books

    This is something I’ve noticed lately in my time spent in various author places online. There is an almost pathological fear of long books. I see post after post from people worrying about their word count, that their book is “too long.” I see post after post of people saying “Keep your book short because…

  • notes on gabapentin, day 6

    ok, so 6 days of taking my new meds. here are some notes on it. it works. i mean, it definitely stops my twitching when i’m awake. however i’ve noticed, now my twitching has stopped, that i also have nerve pain in my extremities. i just never noticed it before because i was always either…

  • new meds

    content warning: emetophobia got my gabapentin today. trying it tonight. also sleeping on the recliner tonight, because my neck won’t stop hurting. i don’t know what’s up with it. it hasn’t hurt this much since the last time i got whiplash. which was…on a bumper car i think. (yeah, bumper cars give whiplash. just in…

  • body betrayal

    living with chronic illness and disability is living with a body that is constantly betraying you. i only speak from my own experience, which is that of someone who went from relatively healthy with a few weird but livable issues, to disabled, in constant pain, always fighting the truth of my own flesh. because of…

  • life updates

    oh hey, i remembered this thing exists. ok, so, long and short of it — i’ve been up all night and i can’t see straight at this point. yesterday i got informed we have another flood. for those of you keeping score at home, this is flood number 3 in our time here. the first…

  • Nope, taking care of the dog did not, in fact, kill me

    Or at least I assume so, as I seem to still be corporeal. (Though my body is disintegrating at an alarming rate now I’m this close to being 30. It is possible I am a zombie.) It occurred to me today that I hadn’t posted here since December, and that I should probably remedy that,…

  • Thoughts I had while walking the dog yesterday

    While driving up to the mountain: please don’t jump out the window at those rabbits please don’t jump out the window at those rabbits please don’t jump out the window GOOD BOY While walking up the mountain: it’s DECEMBER WHY IS IT SO WARM Where’d he go? Oh there he is. Mountain for first dog…